I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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