so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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