i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize