my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
