oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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