I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize