i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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