I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
