I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
