Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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