i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize