I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
