Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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