NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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