So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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