stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
