apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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