I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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