so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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