I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
