we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
