don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
