Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
