i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
