Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize
