In the future we'll all be gay
why didn't you poke me back
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
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