"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
