Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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