its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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