i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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