I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
