Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
