im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
