Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize