I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
