i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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