Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
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i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
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i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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