I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
