I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
