i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just tell him i said nine months
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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