last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
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Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
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I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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