Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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