Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
