i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
