please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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