dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
