dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
