You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
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He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
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I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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