Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
