even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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