Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
