dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Let the clothes fall where they may.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
