Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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