Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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