I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
