U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
