we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize