If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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