Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened http://tfl.nu/eey2
  Replies (4) Good night (957) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed. http://tfl.nu/tmoe
  Replies (16) Good night (635) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her http://tfl.nu/2ej3
  Replies (35) Good night (669) Bad night (3866)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart. http://tfl.nu/h0kh
  Replies (14) Good night (1191) Bad night (2824)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT. http://tfl.nu/52hv
  Replies (39) Good night (5127) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be. http://tfl.nu/1ded
  Replies (14) Good night (1072) Bad night (4273)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up. http://tfl.nu/ay5l
  Replies (33) Good night (1351) Bad night (5280)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.

  (917): View more from New York City

  I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God. (917): I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice. http://tfl.nu/jdh1
  Replies (122) Good night (3332) Bad night (15505)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors http://tfl.nu/k8g7
  Replies (8) Good night (5560) Bad night (1983)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn. http://tfl.nu/8enu
  Replies (13) Good night (884) Bad night (4078)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together. http://tfl.nu/rbls
  Replies (4) Good night (3884) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE http://tfl.nu/qfju
  Replies (7) Good night (2340) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us. http://tfl.nu/j1ej
  Replies (11) Good night (2679) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to http://tfl.nu/22xn
  Replies (3) Good night (594) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room http://tfl.nu/jyfe
  Replies (2) Good night (358) Bad night (531)

Randomize