we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
