Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.

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  (732): pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom. http://tfl.nu/lqbf
  Replies (5) Good night (622) Bad night (1220)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."

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  (508): They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever." http://tfl.nu/4fcm
  Replies (49) Good night (17814) Bad night (1792)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever

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  (678): She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever http://tfl.nu/ozbc
  Replies (18) Good night (4344) Bad night (974)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.

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  (215): we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me. http://tfl.nu/nfi8
  Replies (8) Good night (5109) Bad night (922)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.

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  (910): I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him. (910): Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer. http://tfl.nu/vb0s
  Replies (4) Good night (2147) Bad night (603)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...

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  (206): So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present... http://tfl.nu/f3rc
  Replies (8) Good night (590) Bad night (1454)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.

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  (541): It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost. http://tfl.nu/hkh5
  Replies (2) Good night (890) Bad night (428)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.

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  (785): Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective. http://tfl.nu/28pg
  Replies (13) Good night (519) Bad night (746)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.

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  (607): I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/nmbl
  Replies (4) Good night (907) Bad night (361)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.

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  (425): I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me. http://tfl.nu/51kh
  Replies (21) Good night (635) Bad night (2700)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.

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  (734): Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life. http://tfl.nu/cgob
  Replies (3) Good night (1517) Bad night (358)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday

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  (516): Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday http://tfl.nu/gvbn
  Replies (1) Good night (403) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug

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  (206): I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug http://tfl.nu/jw7j
  Replies (2) Good night (451) Bad night (221)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship

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  (540): The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship http://tfl.nu/4d11
  Replies (1) Good night (524) Bad night (256)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.

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  (615): my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything. http://tfl.nu/13l7
  Replies (4) Good night (285) Bad night (71)

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